The secret to recovering from botched negotiations

Tips on mastering the art of negotiation, from my tale of falling flat on my face during a negotiation session.

Some moments in your solopreneur career get seared into your memory.

It’s as if the earth stops turning. In those suspended seconds, a mental supernova explodes, illuminating with hot-white clarity the huge mistake you’ve just made.

Come with me to that time, many years ago, when this memory was born—and learn from my missteps, so you can avoid making your own stumbles.

An unforgettable negotiation

I was in the office of the director of a major NYC museum, sitting at a handcrafted walnut desk in an expensive high-backed chair, leather briefcase at my feet. We were discussing some curatorial research he wanted me to complete. While I had worked with the director before on smaller engagements, I was still finding my way as a solopreneur. This was an exciting new project, filled with possibilities for larger assignments.

He explained the details of the upcoming exhibit and the areas he wanted me to research. Then, leaning back, he casually asked the question I should have known was coming. “So, Terri, how much do you think this might run?”

My mind raced, as it does for every new solopreneur in this situation. Too high, and you may lose the work. Too low, and you’ll never pay the bills.

I quoted him a ballpark figure and held my breath.

The moment frozen in time

His reply was one I will never forget.

“Oh, really? I thought it would be much more than that.”

I nearly gasped as I realized what I’d done. I was mentally screaming, admonishing myself for being so foolish and not giving this more consideration. The moments ticked by as I sat there, anchored in that stylish chair.

Then, from somewhere within me, came a voice that said, “Oh, I see. Perhaps I didn’t quite understand the full scope of the project.”

Saved, to try again

I still have no idea where the inspiration for that reply came from that afternoon. But it enabled the discussion to continue—and saved the negotiation.

Our conversation continued for another 15 minutes, with me carefully writing down the full details of the project and his expectations. I left, promising to follow up in writing in the next 48 hours.

This, of course, was how I should have approached the opportunity to begin with. But I was new to the world of projects and pricing, and was fumbling my way to experience.

Hard-won lessons to guide you

To save you from the many pitfalls I’ve made, let me share some negotiation lessons I’ve learned during my years of working solo. Hopefully, they can save you from dreadful moments that haunt your memories.

1. First, uncover the real goals of the project. Make no mistake, your potential client has an internal sense of what they want to accomplish, even if it seems vague. It’s your responsibility to delve further during the conversation until you fully understand their intentions.

2. Realize that many times your client has not thought through what they want. The exploratory conversations you have with a client may be one of the most valuable services you offer. It showcases your ability to listen and ask the questions no one else has asked. (For me, it’s also one of the most engaging parts of a project.) Many times, the client gets clearer by telling you what they are thinking in response to your questions.

3. Capture their exact phrasing. As you take notes on the project, stay attuned to the specific vocabulary and phrases they use. Using this language in your proposal will show that you understand the project and align with their perception of the challenge.

4. Establish what’s important to them. As you listen closely, they will likely reveal the true motivations for the project and what matters most in its outcome. How can you deliver the results that fulfill their most important goals?

5. Determine the value of the ideal outcome. When establishing your fee, consider the value you bring to the project, not how many hours it may require. Communicate clearly the value they will receive as well as what they will lose if no action is taken.

Experience wins

As solopreneurs, we all have our share of memorable negotiation hiccups. Ultimately, it’s our experience that creates the confidence to navigate these conversations.

Embrace the mishaps on your path to negotiation mastery. They’ll teach you a lot—and create great stories to tell.

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What face-palm stories do you have to share about botched negotiations or other solopreneur missteps? Do tell! The comments section awaits your stories (as do I). 🙂

Thanks for being a reader, and a kindred explorer on this solopreneur journey.
See you next week!